National Post Launches Canadian Terrorism Campaign

Terrorism: [teruh-riz-uhm] – noun

1. the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes.
2. the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization

I received a phone call at Artemis PR & Design today and the conversation that followed went roughly like this:

Caller:    Hello Mrs Kerr? (sic)

Me:        Uh, yes.

Caller:    This is mumble, mumble from the National Post calling.

Me:        Oh, yes.

Caller:    Would you like to reinstate your subscription now?

Me:        No, thank you.

Caller:    Oh, well, when will you reinstate?

Me:        Thanks, but I’m not planning to renew.

Caller:    May I ask why not?

Me:        Well, we don’t need the paper version of your publication here at my business anymore.

Caller:    I see, well, you know with the northern advancement of the US Air Force and the lysteria outbreak spreading west, I’d think you would want to keep up on current events…

Me:    Good-bye.

What the heck? So if I don’t subscribe to the National Post, I’m going to be bombed by the US Air Force right after contracting listeria? Will this being happening anyway, or is the National Post going to send me these evil threats. (Sort of like when Time magazine sent me a calculator with a little solar clock. But much creepier.)

The Post’s tagline is A Better Read; more like You Better Read.

As if striking fear in my heart is the only way to sell their newspaper. It’s like newspaper terrorism. When I was the editor of a women’s magazine, we tried to boost subscriptions with contests and free books. Our subscription desk never threatened anyone with unibrows or varicose veins.

The National Post should be ashamed of supplying their telemarketers with scripts that contain this crap. It’s not selling; it’s just bad PR, crass marketing, offensive, rude, and a desperate attempt to sound relevant.

Kinda like its former chairman.


1 Response to “National Post Launches Canadian Terrorism Campaign”

  1. 1 Bob West September 10, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    I know what you mean, Maggie!! I once had had a CIBC telemarketer get really nasty because i didn’t want her visa card (we have had CIBC visa’a for like 20 years)!! I get upwards of 10 calls a week at work and I get very tired of it, I know they are just trying to make a living but hey….

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